Losing Control

"The more control you lose, the more control you will gain in the end."  ~Bob Harper, The Biggest Loser, talking about facing your real fears.

This statement on tonight's episode, immediately made me stop and think.  I am trying to hard to stay in control that I'm completely out of control!

I give up before I start (eating healthy, exercising, etc.) because I don't believe that I have any control over success or failure, and I am already convinced that I'm going to fail.

I have decided in my mind that I'm not physically able to walk "X distance" so I'm not even going to try.

I have already proven, that in 20 years, I can't lose weight and keep it off.

I have predetermined that I cannot make healthy choices permanently, so I set myself up to fail before I can make progress.

I have chosen to be sedentary/lazy most hours of the day.  This I DO have control of.  This I cannot fail.  It's easy.... but it accomplishes absolutely nothing, except to help me become more and more unhealthy.

I need to figure out how to let go of the control in my mind so that I can gain control, like Bob says.  How am I going to do that?  I don't know for sure, but it's something I need to start working toward.  I think I need to accomplish something, that I honestly don't believe I can do.  What will that be?  I guess I will start thinking about it.